RANSVESTIA

while she and her roommates were at summer school for six weeks. It was too much. Their clothes were hanging in the closets and the dressers were packed with dainties. I was in seventh heaven.

I dressed from the skin out, prepared meals, cleaned the apartment and made my first venture in public.

It was at night and so it wasn't really a test but I enjoyed it. I remem- ber that I was wearing a pale blue jersey dress that was mine and that I had bought just for the occasion. I dressed carefully, and cautiously eased myself out the door of the apartment and down the stairs so as not to disturb the landlady. Once outside I had to stop. The feel of the wind washing round my nylon-encased legs was absolutely delicious and the experience was more than I could bear and still move. I leaned against the corner of the building and just enjoyed it. As it began to ebb I walked daintily, handbag swinging jauntily, and must have gone a mile or more, passing a few people at a distance and, of course, meeting many cares on their way along the road. No one stared or did anything upsetting and I arrived back at my hideaway with a warm, warm feel- ing of well-being. I felt like a girl.

I did this many times during the summer and each time I dressed, I felt more like a girl, and surprisingly, felt closer to my fiancée, for we had now decided to be married. My love for her became deeper because I knew the joy of being her.

I never told her about my secret but shortly after we were married I dressed for a Hallowe'en stunt. She was not feeling well and couldn't go out with me but I sensed that she didn't really approve of my dress- ing. From then on I have never told her how I really feel. It has been an underground maneuver all these twenty years. Oh, there have been other Hallowe'ens, and times when we were alone and I would dress "as a joke," but no real time when I was able to dress with her for longer than a few minutes.

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That is what I would really love, to be able to be a girl with her dress in my nicest and sit for an evening with her, go out for a walk or a drive, and know that she and I are together. I hope someday it will be so but not yet.

My work took me frequently away from home and for such occasions I had a special case which carried my femme clothes. When my work was done I would return to my motel, dress to the nines, and just sit and

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